Still no dilation but the cervix is getting softer.
I need to get off my butt and walk. I also bought some raspberry leaf tea last time I was at the grocery store. I'm ready to get this ball rolling and really don't want to go overdue.
Kelsey & my doctor gave me restrictions as to when I can't go into labor. Kelsey said not until Sunday or later because she's moving back to BG tomorrow and will hopefully be able to make it up here. My doctor said not Thursday-Sunday because he has a long weekend vacation.
I finally do feel ready for this to happen. I feel like I've got it all under control and I'm prepared for him stuff-wise and mentally(mostly). I've been trying to remain kind of cocky and nonchalant about the whole thing, especially when people constantly tell me it's going to suck. I just reply with "nah, it won't be that bad, I can handle it" or I think it just to stay positive. I need to get out of my pessimistic thinking, it's no good and it gets me nowhere. Hearing everyone tell me I don't know what's in store and that I can't handle it gets rather dull and annoying, why can't they just help me stay optimistic? jeez.
My bumkins covers came in the mail today! I finally have all my cloth diapering supplies for the first few months. I just need to wash the new covers and extra prefolds that I bought the other night and I'm golden. I feel the need to list everything I have for him just to be sure that I am truly as prepared as I think I am, or find a checklist online and check everything off. Maybe Jude is the best thing that has happened to me and I will get my life in order. I've already made so many changes and sacrifices for the better, why not keep going? Wooo, optimism!
I talked to Chris today for the first time in like 2 months. He said he stopped talking to me because he felt I was unreasonable and impossible to discuss Jude's life and custody issues with merely because I pointed out the laws on the matter to him. Hopefully this time around we can work something out and be civil and cooperate. That was something I told him tonight, that I had plans and everything set and ready to go and that my plans for raising him cannot be changed and that he'd have to mega-cooperate with me if he wanted to be involved. We didn't get into any details, but it will come in due time. I also told him that there will be no joint custody to start off because it's something I feel needs to be worked towards. If we can't cooperate and he can't accomodate to the raising/lifestyle plans I have with a visitation type dealio than I'm not going to feel comfortable or be willing to do joint custody. I was trying my hardest not to be bitchy while I was talking to him. I was with Mike and read him everything that was said and that I replied with to ensure that it wasn't bitchy too.
I want a video camera for when Jude's here so I can make embarassing home videos and record all (or at least most) of his milestones.
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