Jude's first trip to the cottage.

As you know from my last update, I took Jude up north to my grandparents cottage on Lake Huron, just north of Oscoda. The drive there would've went smoother if a) I had fed him right before getting on the road (I had to stop fairly soon after getting on the highway) and b) I hadn't missed the exit for US-23 and didn't realize it until I was almost in Lansing. I had to stop 4 times because of those. Twice to feed Jude, once for more gas, and once to figure out how to get to where I needed to be once I was lost (which was fruitless aside from the Coke & cookies I bought from the McD's I stopped at to pee and get directions). I should've arrived at 12 and instead arrived at 1, which isn't too bad considering we didn't leave until about 8:30.

My grandparents, aunt Kathy, uncle Jim & little cousins Nuala, Lena, and Eamon were also up there, and Jude loved the attention from the kids, they would play with him and he would laugh at their funny faces. He was a good, happy baby all weekend, and surprisingly not too clingy on me and he slept really well, I wish he would have kept sleeping that well when we got home, but oh well, I still love him.

Here are some of the pictures from the weekend.

1) Grandma, Jude, Lena, & Eamon. 2) Jude laughing at Lena. 3) I put Jude in his port-a-crib, came back and found Sydney and Jude chilling in bed like this. 4) He's a pirate, fear him. 5) My aunt Julie made a quilt for my grandpa with everyone's hand prints so we added Jude's footprint to it and since there wasn't an extra empty square, we put him onto mine. 6) Eamon holding Jude. 7) Jude's 1st beach picture. It was about a quarter to seven and he didn't go back to sleep like normal so we took a walk down to the beach before sunrise, he was wrapped cozy and tight in 2 blankets and fell asleep, I got cold so we didn't stay to watch the sun rise. 8) He enjoyed Sydney's homework less than she did. 9) Us on the beach. 10) The kids.

Also, like my new layout. I made it purrty and made the banner myself. :D

Tomorrow night I start watching Haley for Lisa, a pretty awesome family friend. Since I can't get a job because of Jude's upcoming surgeries and her husband is in New Mexico for border patrol training we're helping each other out basically.

2 weeks of stuff

Time to backtrack since I have 2 weeks worth of updating.

Jude had a weight check-up with the pediatrician on the 10th, he gained over a pound & weighed 9 lbs, 10 oz. He's growing so fast and getting chunky.

Jude had his hearing test & CT Scan the 11th. His hearing test was scheduled for 10:15, the CT for 11:45, the radiologists had requested that I didn't feed him after 9:30. That would have worked fine to get the hearing test that required him to be quiet and still if they didn't have us waiting in the waiting area for so long. He woke up and was pissed as soon as we got back into the room so the lady doing it suggested we go do the CT and come back to do the hearing test while he was sleeping after that. The reason they asked for him to not eat presumably was in case they had to administer anesthesia in order to put him to sleep to stay still for the scan. We ended up back in there and they really didn't want to anesthetize him because it is such a short scan and at this point, he's screaming bloody murder so they ask if he'll take a pacifier, which he normally doesn't. So they started to prepare a pacifier dipped in sugar water to see if he'd take that and relax or sleep. They had me lay him down on the scanner table while they were doing that and he fell asleep as soon as I lay him down. We were all baffled by it. They did the scan and since my mum's a CT scanner at a different DMC hospital she had some sweet connections and we got to see his 3D facial reconstruction and everyone talked about how cute he is. We also got the images on a CD for when we go get a second opinion. We went back upstairs for the hearing test while he was sleeping and since he could eat and he was pretty good through it, he woke up during the first part, but we were able to give him a bottle through it to keep him cooperative. He can hear, which we didn't doubt, the surgeon ordered it just to be sure.

Later that night we took him out on the town to the salon for my mum & I to get our hair cut, then a brewery for dinner, and then an old family friend's art gallery opening. He totally dug it all, he loves to look around at things and is so amazed by new things so none of that was too stressful for him, but he did sleep all weekend after, processing all the new things.

A week passed by and then we met with the plastic surgeon again on the 18th and the information she gave us was a bit overwhelming, but it would have been more overwhelming if we hadn't done our research on craniosynostosis. She told us that the suture is definitely fused and showed us his scan, then she proceeded to tell us how treatment was going to go. It came quickly, my mum almost cried. Basically she said that he won't have surgery until he's 6 months old and she outlined the basics of the procedure. She also gave me scripts to see a neurosurgeon, ophthalmologist, and to have an abdominal ultrasound to check his kidneys because the skin tags can also sometimes be indicative of not fully formed kidneys. He's still getting the tags removed in November though, just to get it out of the way and because it's a relatively minor surgery.

I decided that he looks a bit like a Klingon because of his pointy forehead and the wrinkles. When I say it I mean it in a nice, cute way, not a mean making fun of way but my dad likes to make fun of him.

I tried to get ahold of Chris because of all this so we can get together (his family and mine) and talk about this, child support, him being on the birth certificate, involvement, etc. He kept blowing off my calls/texts and when he did reply about getting together a certain day he ended up changing plans at the last minute with one excuse or another. It's bullshit. I'm pissed that he gave me so much shit about wanting to be involved and around a lot but is now doing this. Before I contacted him last weekend, I hadn't heard from him for over a month. The last time I heard from him was right after my birthday. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if he hadn't given me all the shit about wanting to be around and saying he'd be around no matter what and telling everyone else he was going to. He got defensive, and some of my friends got defensive about him with me and I really didn't appreciate it because no one seemed to understand the situation and what he was really doing. What makes it even worse is that him and his parents came to the hospital the night Jude was born because it really did ruin a lot of moments and happy times for me, again, I wouldn't be so upset about it if he actually was around.

Other than all that nonsense, we're doing great. He's all sorts of adorable still and has started smiling and cooing all the time, he even laughs sometimes. It's really funny because he laughs at my sister a lot, probably because we make fun of her and he's catching on. I was going to take him to JC Penney to get some portraits done this weekend, but I decided to reschedule it for October 8th because he will be 2 months and he'll probably smile more easily at cues, either way, these pictures will be super cute, dammit.

This weekend I'm taking him up north to my grandparents cottage on Lake Huron. It will be an adventure, making that 4 hour drive with him and my sister and just being up there with my aunt and cousins and grandparents. Even though I'm not leaving for another 10 hours or so I should probably start packing, I need to disassemble the pack&play, pack clothes for both of us, figure out how to make diapering work up there (I'm thinking I'll pack all of our cloth diapers, the dirty diaper bag without the dirty diapers from today (I'll put those in a plastic bag in the diaper bin for now), and take some disposables for just in case I go through all of the cloth ones, which I shouldn't, but better safe than sorry, or I can pack the Gerber ones, which I'd rather not especially since that's what he'll be in for the drive back and those won't cut it), all while taking care of him, doing housework, and not forgetting to eat, which reminds me, I need more breakfast than just that yogurt I had when I woke up 2 hours ago. I have a feeling I'm going to need at least 2 duffle bags just for this short trip...

I ordered this yesterday and I can't wait to get it! Both the slings I had gotten were too small for me. :/

Well, that's the past 2 weeks for you, I'll try to update more frequently so I'm not just dumping tons of stuff on here. Here's a happy, smiley baby to make up for it.

I lost the words.

I know what I need to update about, I just lost the words as soon as I went to do it. I'm pooped, Jude didn't sleep today, he screamed for hours when it came to be bed time, and just went down not too long ago.

Soon I will really update about:

-CT scans.

-Surgeon meetings.

-Piece of shit "fathers".

-My emotions, maybe.

-Everything else.

Since this isn't a real update and you wasted your time with this preview of an update, here's a picture of my Jujuby from today.

I'm going to sleep. Hopefully it will last at least 3 hours. Good night interwebz world.

As if things weren't already hard enough as it is...

Let me start with the good, Jude turned one month yesterday! Exciting, right? I tried to take pictures of him, but he kept being cranky and uncooperative, plus I haven't uploaded the ones I did get onto my computer yet. Here's one I snapped with photo booth on my laptop though, he had just pooped when I took it. The milestones he has already reached are pretty amazing.

-He's very alert.

-He can hold his up very well & for longer periods of time everyday.

-He looks around at everything & I think he actually has favorite things to look at, like the toys on his baby gym, the fish tank, a green kitty rattle, and me of course.

-He sometimes smiles, but he won't do it for the camera, or I'm too slow to catch them because they come and go quickly.

-He can sometimes roll from his tummy to his back.

-I don't think he knows he has feet yet.

-He makes happy little squeaky noises instead of just cranky ones.

I picked up new diapers last weekend! I got the chinese prefolds, I just started using them yesterday because it took me that long to pre-wash them in between all the other laundry loads and Judey cries. So far, so good with these, now I just need to get my order of crunchy clean in the mail.

Now the stressful...

We saw the plastic surgeon last week (I know, I'm late on updating things). She told us that the skin tags by his ear were extra cartilage & were sometimes indicative of the inner ear not forming completely & ordered a formal hearing test to check. She said we would tentatively schedule the tag removal surgery for November. She was also concerned about the wedgedness of his noggin & ordered a CT scan to see if the metopic sutures are fused. After my mum researched it, we determined that he more than likely has craniosynostosis and that's what they're scanning for. It's extremely rare, about one in 2500-3500 children get it. After looking at pictures of kids with it & then looking at Jude's head, there's no doubt in my mind that he has it. He doesn't show most of the common symptoms of it, which is a good sign that we caught it early I guess because it does inhibit brain growth. It would need to be corrected with a surgery that reforms the skull. We go in for his hearing test & CT scan tomorrow morning at children's hospital. We haven't gotten the official word on if he does or does not have this condition quite yet, but I'm bracing myself for he does just given the pointyness of his head. All of this is probably going to delay my getting a job unfortunately. I wouldn't be able to work & cope with a serious baby surgery at the same time. It would mean that his tag removal would be postponed, because there's no way he's going through multiple surgeries before he turns one.

"Don't forget, you were going to love him if he was the one in two-hundred that had Down's Syndrome. This just makes him even more special."- My mum.

A real update now. :)

At Jude's pediatrician appointment last Thursday he had gained over a pound. He's going to be a little chunker butt haha.

Tomorrow we have an appointment with the plastic surgeon at children's hospital to look at his skin tags & I guess make a course of surgical action as to what to do. I'm scared about this whole surgery business. I also kind of love his little cheek nipples & don't want them to remove them, but I know if they don't he'll get super made fun of in school because children are brutally ruthless when it comes to people who are different. Poor Judey-Tuesday. :(

My grandma yelled at me for signing the waiver for the hep b vaccine at the hospital and not planning on getting it at his 2 month appointment. I just see no point in it this early. I finally ordered a copy of Dr. Sears' Vaccine Book to read & research all of the vaccines. I also threw a copy of his Baby Book into my shopping cart.

I found a pair of non-maternity pants that fit me! I should go through the rest of my clothing to see what fits. I already know most of my tops don't fit yet, and I'll kind of be upset if I end up not shrinking down a lot more to fit them because then I'll lose all of my sweet t-shirts. Oh well, I'm over it, if it happens I'll just add them to my sewing bucket and t-shirt quilt.

I started laying Jude on the floor to "play" last week. He loves looking around at everything so I lay him on a blanket on the floor with the activity gym from Ikea to look at the things on it. I'll also set toys near him to look at. He also gets some tummy time and he's getting pretty good with lifting his head, he has really strong neck muscles and fairly good head control already. It's not perfect yet, but it's good. Sometimes, not always, when he's on his tummy he can roll over to his back. No one believes it because he's so young, but I've seen it happen. I've also seen him roll in his sleep. Like one night I woke up and looked at him in his crib and he rolled onto his side, farted loudly like 5 times, then rolled back onto his back. It was one of the funniest things I've seen. Last night he was sleeping in bed with me, I know he fell asleep on his side while nursing, and I pushed him over onto his back, and when I woke up this morning he was on his tummy, with his arms folded under his head all cute and happy looking. I didn't take a picture, but I should have and am upset I didn't, it was adorable. I actually moved him to his crib from there and he was upset about it.

I think I need different cloth diapers. I love them, and I don't think prefolds & covers are a bad system at all, it's just my prefolds are crappy. It's because we got the Gerber ones and I know it. I'm also thinking it's my washing routine so I ordered some Crunchy Clean diaper detergent. Hopefully once I change the washing routine I'll be happier with them. They just don't feel soft enough and make me sad. Trial & error I guess.

I would have never thought I'd be the person I am today. Like my friend Carly asked a few months ago, "what would you have done if I told you in high school that the 2 of us would both be mothers by the time we were 21?" "I would have laughed in your face and told you you were crazy."

A week of Kayleigh & Jude. Part 1.

I decided to start taking pictures of Jude & I everyday for a year with the built-in camera on my laptop. I have no life haha. But instead of posting them here everyday, I decided weekly is a better idea. They're backwards, but oh well.

7/365. 6/365. 5/365. 4/365. 3/365. 2/365. 1/365.