Happy (belated) Spring!

We had a few nice days that we just had to take advantage of. Wish it would've stayed, but the past couple of days have been cold and icky again. 

As everyone knows, Spring started on Sunday. I'm pretty bummed that I didn't get to celebrate the Equinox with as much awesome celebrations as I wanted to thanks to work and picking up my parents from the airport. I had originally planned on giving Jude his basket on the Equinox, but I'm still waiting on a package o' playsilks from Etsy, need to craft some eggs, make some play dough, and buy a pair of shaky-eggs to add to his basket. It is going to be a most egg-cellent basket if I do say so myself. I was at the store with some friends and there were some pre-filled Easter baskets for like $10. I was shocked that you could get them that cheap, but then I looked at what was in them and it was just a bunch of crap. Plastic crap that will be broken/lost/forgotten about within a few days.

I was looking at Jude the other day and I noticed that his eye was swollen. I immediately asked everyone who had watched him in the 24 hours prior if he had hit it on something. They all insisted that he didn't, and the more I looked at it, the more I realized it looked rather similar to how he looked a few days after his surgery when his eyes were starting to open, but weren't quite there yet. He's over 9 months post-op but it looked like it was something to do with that.
I called the surgeon's office. The nurse wasn't in so I had to wait until Wednesday to hear back from her. I woke up Wednesday morning and it was even more swollen. I immediately called the office back and they set up an appointment with another doctor in the office to see him that afternoon, so I called off work. He said it just looked like he bumped it and asked me to come back Thursday afternoon. The nurse called after I had left the hospital and told me that there's the possibility that it could be from the plates they used to keep the suture open dissolving, she then reviewed the pictures the doctor took and told me to keep my Thursday appointment with his surgeon. So, we get to go all the way back out to Ann Arbor again this afternoon to try to figure out what this is. I have to miss an exam, but Jude and his health/wellbeing are billions times more important than school and I can make-up the exam. Hopefully it's nothing major. Part of me believes that, the other part of me that puts too much thought into things is panicking that he'll need another surgery.
No matter what, everything will all work out.

I feel like this blog isn't exciting enough...

Maybe that means my life isn't all that exciting?

I started working last weekend! I'm working at Laurel Manor, it's a banquet hall. I worked there in high school but had to quit when I left for college in Ohio. In high school I was a busser, now I'm wait staff, woot. It's really not all that more exciting, I get paid more than I used to, and I might get more hours, but it's mostly a weekend/night job, because that's when the majority of people have weddings/parties/excitingfuntimes.

I took Jude to story time at our local library for the first time today. He wasn't a complete punk like I half expected him to be. He was more interested at looking at all the other babies than he was in the stories/songs/dancing. It made me realize that he really does need more exposure to kids or else he's going to end up all socially awkward like me. On that note, I didn't have a huge panic attack like I usually do in most social situations. Hooray!

2 days ago was the 9th, which means 5 months post-op from the CVR!
2 days from now is the 13th, which means 1 year post-op from the skin tag removal!
So much happiness and excitement, and I know I say it like every time some sort of milestone and time passes from those surgeries, but he looks like a completely different baby now. Plus, his eye color changed dramatically, which I didn't really notice until I was making a sweet comparison scrapblog thing and had two pictures side by side. I then went through a lot of my pictures to try to pin point when it changed and the determination was some time around April.

I almost made a whole calendar of things like this. I still might, after I finished this one I made another one, for fun (and my computer desktop) because I have a cool kid who has a skeleton sweater for every year! He already has one for next year too.

8 weeks post-op!

Jude was 8 weeks post-op as of Wednesday!
One of the hardest things I've been through in my life happened 8 weeks ago. It sometimes seems longer ago than that, probably because we jumped right back into normal life almost immediately. I'm so relieved it's all behind us. He looks like an entirely different person than he did 8-9 weeks ago. Hell, he looks completely different than he did when he was born, but we'll save that progression for his Birthday on Monday.

Top-view, pre-op.

8 weeks ago, the morning of his surgery.

Fresh out of surgery.

Top-view, 2 days post-op.

1 week post-op.

2 weeks post-op.

Top view, 2 weeks.

3 weeks.

4 weeks.

6 weeks.

8 weeks!

Top-view, 8 weeks.

It has been a long, tough journey, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't the hardest thing in my life thus far. I'd also be lying if I told you I didn't cry while gathering the pictures and writing this post. Sometimes I miss his little pointy noggin, butbI'm glad it's over with. I'm glad everything has returned to mostly normal. His scar is so normal to me that I almost forget it's there when we're out in public until someone (usually a small child) looks at him odd, and sometimes people ask. I like when people ask because then I can inform them of craniosynostosis. More times than one would expect with it being so rare and unheard of until diagnosis I run into someone who says "Oh, yeah, so and so's child had that." It's good to know we're not alone.
There's a 5k run/walk for craniosynostosis on Halloween this year. It's in New York, but my mum and I are going to make the road trip to run. We're also going to do some fundraising. It's benefiting two of the larger craniosynostosis foundations; the Jorge Posada Foundation and CAPPS. We'll work something awesome out for fundraising. I think our goal will be $500, that's the minimum for t-shirt sponsorship to get Jude's name on the shirts and that we're running for him.
I feared that his personality would change after the surgery from the stress of it all and all the strangers in the hospital, but it hasn't. He's one of the friendliest, most out-going babies I have ever seen. Whenever we go out anywhere he sits there and waves at anyone he sees. He starts conversations with them. He flirts with the ladies. Strangers think he's a complete doll. I'm thankful for that.
Now that that journey is over with, I'm excited to see what other journeys come our way. I hope they aren't nearly as challenging and stressful as this one has been though.

So excited.

This week started off really, really rocky. Sunday night was great, then Monday - Wednesday were just... not good.
Thursday was great! Jude had his post-op appointment with the plastic surgeon. He's pleased with how everything looks and is healing. He'll have a hulking brow for the next year and for the next 2 months his head will still be kind of soft so we have to be extra careful about him bonking it which is hard because he has been cruising along furniture lately, luckily he hasn't gotten too ballsy and tried standing on his own yet.
He climbed up steps for the first time in the waiting room yesterday! And when we went to the Coney Island for lunch he drank water from a straw!
After that and dinner, Jon came over, he helped me sort through my records and put them away then we picked up Nicole, got slushies, and returned bottles and came back here and had a raging bonfire! We sat around and chilled and talked and it was a good night.
I have been really over being a stay at home mom for a while so I have been applying practically everywhere and scouring craigslist several times a day every day and replying to the ad's I qualify for. This morning I sent one e-mail and one application. I have already heard back from both! I have an interview tomorrow morning at a bar in Dearborn and an interview with a campaign company working for cleaner waters and safer school food in Ann Arbor today at 4. I'm so freakin' excited about it. I also have a doctors appointment at 1:30 which isn't as exciting, but still, life is good right now.
Here's a picture of Jude from today, a little over 2 weeks post-op and making a ridiculous face.

I promise I'll resume regular blogging soon...

... but until then you're stuck with another weekly recap, sorry. :( It has been a very long, trying week to say the least.

Wednesday, June 9th
- Jude's surgery.
- 6:30 am, arrived at the hospital to check-in.
- 7:30 am, they took him back.

- 9:15 am, they told us they started surgery.
- 11 am, they told us that the neurosurgeon finished their part and plastics were starting.
- 3:15 pm, they told us the surgery was over, went great, and they were waiting to get him into a recovery room.
- 4 pm, spoke to the surgeons, they told me everything went fantastic.
- 5 pm, finally got to see Jude and they took him to the PICU.
- Throughout all of that, I kept myself distracted by using the internet, reading, knitting, napping, and listening to music. My parents obviously went with me. My grandma came to wait with us, she bought me chocolate covered bacon because she loves me. My grandfather also came unexpectedly.

Thursday, June 10th
- Jude spent most of the day in the PICU, and they slowly removed all of his wires.

- They moved him to a room on the floor at around 5 pm. 
- All the nurses and doctors said he looked a lot better than most cases they've seen.

Friday & Saturday, June 11th - 12th
- Hospital stay, nothing too exciting.

- They removed his bandages Friday morning.

- Jude slowly returned to his normal self and started playing more even though his eyes were swelled shut.
- The whole time in the hospital my mum and I took turns staying with him so we could get some sleep.

Sunday, June 13th

- We came home! Even though his eyes were still shut, they were pleased with his progress and sent us home in the morning. The doctors came in in the morning while I was sleeping and my mum didn't tell me until I eventually stumbled back to the room, showered and with breakfast for the two of us.

Since then we've been home. Jude's eyes started opening later Sunday afternoon and now they're almost all the way there. He's resumed being mischievous like before and we have to keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't bonk his head.

We also have started trying to get him to stop co-sleeping and sleep on his own. He has to sleep upright for the next few months so that's part of the reason why. He has to sleep in the carseat in his crib, he's not too thrilled about that at night, but my mom is insistent that he'll get used to it eventually and stop waking up every 2 hours.

I got the results from the paternity test today. There's a 99.99% chance Christopher's the father, shocker.

Busy week

Where did I leave off last time? Ah, yes, a very incoherent rambling about nothing in particular. Let's do a real life update.

Wednesday, June 2:
- The dreaded paternity test... dun dun dunnnnnnnn. I tried not to be awkward arond Chris, I thought I did pretty well, but he was still awkward, but I reckon that's to be expected. He still won't have an adult convo with me, but whatevz. I'm sure he'll change his mind about that once he gets my lovely pre-recorded Maury "you ARE the father" message. The actual test itself was kind of gross. We go back into this dinky room in an office building and there are two "nurses." They asked the 3 of us to stand against the wall and snap a polaroid, in my head I was making jokes about it because I'm fairly certain it's the only "family" picture of the 3 of us that exists. Then, as the nurse was preparing to swab my mouth I asked if she would wash her hands before doing Jude's because of fear of him getting sick, surgery in a week, yaddayaddayadda. They both looked at me funny and said "We switch gloves between people." As she was saying this, the nurse that did me totally sniffled and wiped her hands on her pants after taking off her gloves. They then proceeded to tell me that the closest bathroom was on the other side of the building. I was like, "I don't care, please wash your hands." She did, it took her forever to go there and come back, the whole time I bit my tongue from complaining to the other nurse that was doing Chris about how they sit in this dinky room all day, swabbing mouths and all they do between people is switch gloves.  There wasn't even hand sanitizer in the room. I thought about calling human services or whoever and complaining, but then I got sidetracked by something shiny.

Friday, June 4: 
- Went out to the bar with Nicole, Jon (whom I met a few random times, years ago but this was the first time we actually hung out), and Mike that night because I was feeling cooped up and needed to surround myself with friends. Mission accomplished.

Saturday, June 5:
- Got lunch with my grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins. My grandma got Jude a Saint Jude necklace for surgery. All my little cousins kissed Jude's foot (so they wouldn't spread germs to him) and wished him luck on his surgery as we left.

Sunday, June 6:
- Went to see my sister march in the local parade with the fam.
- Hosted the most badass last minute BBQ-on-a-mostly-rainy-day ever. Jon, Nicole, Dan, and his girlfriend Amanda came over. I really overdid myself, I grilled wings (hot and bbq), butternut squash, and supremely delicious hamburgers. I also sliced a watermelon, Nicole brought chips, Jon brought beer, I had my dad pick up baked beans, soda, and potato salad. Good times were had, we played Scattegories, I almost won but got distracted by a screaming baby and a father who failed at diaper changing and lost in the last round. Everyone but Jon left and he helped me clean up and we hung out for a while. It was an excellent night.

Monday, June 7, today:
- Stressed over packing, it's still not done because Jude keeps getting in the way or whining. My mum's mom came over for a visit. Went on a hospital tour with my mum. I keep freaking out so bad that I almost puke. One full day left before surgery. The lady leading the tour thought I was the one having surgery because I left Jude with my dad and I look like I'm 16.
- Jude said "kitty" to the cat while I was gone. 

So the theme of the weekend was pretty much "surrounding myself with family and friends to distract myself from freaking out." It worked, but now that that stall technique is out of the way, I got nothing. I'll get through this, somehow, I know I will.

Tomorrow, my dad's taking Jude to the zoo while my mum, sister, and I get massages and lunch. RELAXATION... It will only last like 10 minutes though before I'm going crazy again.

For Those Who Haven't Seen It On FB or LJ...

... I present to you via copy and pasting, what the next few months looks like for me!

The near future: I need to finish and mail out Sydney's graduation announcements, and possibly make Jude's birthday party invitations just to keep myself occupied and get it done before everything else kicks up.
Within the "next 30 days": DNA testing, not to mention whatever court crap is going to follow that.
May 17th: Jude has 4 pre-op appointments at Mott. (Neuro-psych testing, opthamologist, surgery team appointment, anesthesia pre-op).
June 9th: Jude's surgery. We'll be in the hospital for approximately 5-7 days, at least one of those days will be spent in the PICU.
June 10th: My baby sister graduates from high school, and I won't be there. :(
July 10th: Sydney's graduation party.
July 17thish: I should be ready to start working again, if I can get a job.
August 9th: Jude's 1st Birthday.
Weekend after that: Jude's birthday party.
August 17th: My Birthday.
August 25th: My mum's Birthday, hopefully being spent in California, that would be a nice getaway at the end of this shit storm.
September 2nd: Classes start.

Not to mention, a few more things that may or may not happen within the next few months involving my pets....

I forgot to mention (take a shot for every time I said "mention" in this post) that I'm taking a cardio kickboxing class with my 2 aunts and cousin. It's 6 weeks long, Monday and Wednesday so it'll end right before Jude's surgery. It's going to kick my ass, I can tell. It's like 40 minutes of cardio work and then 20 minutes of toning and when I woke up today, my abs were killing me. That's a good sign though, right? I walked in the March of Dimes walk last Sunday and I'm walking in the Race for the Cure May 22nd. Go me! At this rate, I'll be less flabby by the time I start school which will be good because then I can resume strutting around campus with an air of confidence.

I'm such a geek mum. I got my Kushies AIO diapers in the mail today and I was so excited. Unfortunately, they're the next size up so they won't fit Jude for a while... Unless I put him in them anyway lol.

Really?!

The court hearing about child support was yesterday. It wasn't very hearing-like. I went downtown to the friend of court office. Waited about an hour before they called Chris back. He didn't say anything or even look at me in the waiting room and I didn't sit near him or say anything to him because, honestly, I felt like I would say something bitchy and I'm trying to tone that down. Luckily, they were playing Star Wars in the waiting room, so that kept me entertained. There were no clocks, it was frustrating and disconcerting. Anyway, they called him back, he went back, eventually he came out, walked right past me to the elevator and left. A few minutes later the woman called me back and said, before I even sat down,
"He has the right to genetic testing and he chose to do that. All I need from you is to answer a few questions."
"OK..."
In my mind I wanted to ask her what he had said and why, but I knew better and that she wouldn't tell me.
"What's your phone number, date of birth, and social security number?"
I give it to her.
"Where do you work?"
"I'm unemployed right now because my baby is having surgery in June."
She didn't write down the surgery bit, just unemployed.
"Where and when was your last place of employment?"
"McDonalds. April '09."
"Give me your ID and sign here."
She takes my ID to the scanner to make a copy and I sign the paper.
"The test will take place within the next 30 days. You'll get a letter in the mail with the appointment date and time. If you don't come you'll lose the Medicaid."
Then she gave me this awkward look as if I was supposed to stand up and leave 3 minutes ago.
All in all. She was a bitch, but maybe it's just the context and/or situation.
It has to happen in the next 30 days, or else I cannot go. Jude's surgery is on the 9th of June, which is in 7 weeks and one day. If they schedule it anytime after that, there's no way I'm doing it. I'm not putting him through that stress after his surgery. As if the stress from the impending surgery wasn't enough, now there's this.
Typical guys, only thinking of themselves, which this makes no sense because it's only going to fuck him over more in the end. He's going to have to pay for the test and it's not cheap at all. I really wish he'd talk to me, this is such a craptastic situation. If I had known then what I know now, I would have never dated him, to be honest. I hate admitting it, but it's true. I don't understand how someone can be so selfish and uncaring for such an amazing person like Jude. Chris has already missed out on so much. I worry he's going to try to get custody after the paternity test comes back. I don't think it's a good idea because Jude doesn't know him at all. They haven't bonded and Chris would be completely clueless as to how to take care of him.
When we left the friend of court, I punched my hand in the elevator instead of the wall then my dad & I walked down to Ben & Jerry's for some ice cream.

On the brighterish side of things, Jude & I went to the zoo with my friend Nicole last week, I wish I could share the pictures but I lost my camera sometime after I got home. It's been MIA for the past week and it's so frustrating. I've looked everywhere 400 times.

5 months!

Jude turned 5 months on Saturday!
This past month he has:
- rolled over tons.
- started schooching around the floor a little.
- continued to laugh and smile like crazy.
- has become much more vocal and seems to have the basic grasp of the rhythm of conversation.
- started showing basic communication signs by putting his arms out to be picked up, grabbing towards things he wants (which seems to be everything), and grabbing my shirt when he's hungry.
- sat up unsupported for brief periods of time.
-started to tolerate being on his stomach.
- been extra clingy and snuggly.
- shown signs of being ready to start eating solids by tracking food, trying to grab it, and putting silverware in his mouth properly.


Friday night he had rice cereal for the first time. He did super well with it, he actually swallowed most of it and ate about half a tablespoon of it. He kept opening his mouth for the spoon and closing it on it once it was in too.

I've started giving him bottles and sippy cups with a little bit of water in them to see if he knew how to drink from them because his not taking a bottle is getting a little ridiculous and I'd like a break from the house sometime without having to worry about coming home after 2 hours to feed him.





We finally met with the 2nd opinion doctors at UM hospitals last Monday. After much thought, research, and debating with myself I've decided to go with them for his surgery. I would have liked to go out of state but it isn't very feasible. UM does the procedure more on par to the top centers in the country. They won't do it until 9-13 months so I'll have to play this waiting game even longer. They don't use a helmet post-op. All-in-all I feel more confident going there.

Surgery, Thanksgiving, 4 months, etc.

First and foremost, Jude is 4 months as of yesterday. He hasn't really reached any new milestones, but his skills are definitely improving. He knows that he's grabbing things and how to do it. He investigates things more with his hands, and his mouth. He babbles and laughs almost all the time. I haven't really put him on a schedule, but he has seemed to form one, or something like one on his own. He can sit up, but not quite on his own yet, he's a little wobbly still. He loves to stand when I hold him up. He also loves to look at himself in the mirror, I have a little narcissist on my hands. He has rolled over on his own, but he doesn't do it often for whatever reason. All in due time I reckon.

His surgery went well. He was confused afterwards and cranky unless I was holding and rocking him. He was really upset when I put him down to get him dressed to go home. I distracted myself by making my parents & Chris play hangman with me while he was in surgery. His bandages finally all fell off last week and there's some scars, but the doctors gave me a silicone gel to make them better. He was drugged up, cranky, and groggy for a day or two after. The day after he fell asleep on the floor while playing, twice. The morning of he was surprisingly happy considering he wasn't allowed to eat. He also didn't wake up in the middle of the night to eat like he normally does so it worked out pretty well.

Playing at 5 am before we left for the hospital.

Post-op.

Home from the hospital.

The day after.

Thanksgiving was Thanksgiving. We spent it at my grandma's house. I cooked some things that everyone loved. I've been so domestic lately, it's odd. And now Christmas is approaching rapidly. Eeeks.

'Twas the night before Jude's surgery....

...And these are some of my thoughts.

I'm freaking out, I have been for weeks but I haven't showed it much. I actually have been trying to suppress all emotions around people, it's crazy weird. I know everything will most likely go great,

and that it's for the better but part of me is freaked out by the fact that my baby has to have surgery, especially since I've never had surgery, aside from the c-section. It's also weird that he'll look completely different after tomorrow. I know he won't be a different person,

but he'll look different and that makes me kind of sad. Getting his skin tags removed makes me feel hypocritical too. I'll miss his adorable little cheeky nipples.

Since we have to be there at 6 & his surgery's at 7:30 he's not allowed to eat after midnight but he can have pedialyte or water until 4:30. Which means when he wakes up looking to eat at 3 I have to try to give him that. That's going to be a challenge since he won't take a bottle at all. I thought about trying to just cuddle him back to sleep, but I think it will be better to try to get something into his stomach.

I'm also upset about Chris, he's all talk and no walk and it's annoying, but that really has nothing to do with anything and I know if I talk or think about it more I'll just think of more things and it will be catastrophic.

3 months!

It seems so surreal that I have a 3 month old baby. It's odd to say and think about really. I think it's because recently I've been missing my old care-free ways a little bit. Don't get me wrong, I love Jude, and my life with him in it but I think about a year ago and everything was completely different. It's strange how much can change in so short a time.

Like just in this past month a ton has changed. Jude babbles a lot. He has also started chewing on everything he can find. He'll pick up toys and nom on them. He blows spit bubbles like it's his job. He's a chunker too, he has the arm equivalent to cankles, it's adorable.

There was also his first Halloween. We didn't do anything exciting. He wore his

skeleton pajamas all day and watched me make pumpkin lasagna and watched Sydney get zombified for the night. We passed out candy too, but we only got like 20-30 kids, if that. Our neighborhood is lame at Halloween time, it makes me sad because I love Halloween. I took a bunch of Halloween/October pictures of him to make a first Halloween scrapbook with such obligatory shots as him sleeping at the cider mill, him with Sydney getting her costume ready, us being awesome and matching, him watching everyone carve pumpkins, and him with the Jude sized pumpkin I carved for him. Yup, I'm sweet.

Also in October he saw an eye doctor, because of the fused suture they wanted to get a baseline there and make sure his eyesight wasn't being affected by it. It's not, he can see. Have you ever seen someone try to do an eye test on a 2.5 month old though? It's ridiculous especially since there are so many more fascinating, shiny things for a baby to look at in the office than the doctor and the toys he's supposed to look at.

I finally got a call from the plastic surgeon's office with a date for his cvr! February 9th. When he's 6 months exactly.

His skin tag removal is in 2 weeks, and I'm honestly kind of more nervous about this one than the other for some reason. I can't explain it, I just am. Maybe it's because I think his skin tags are adorable and don't want him to change drastically.

The friendship Chris and I were working on? Progressed into a talk about slowly maybe getting back together which then progressed into going out on a date. It was a real date too, a first for me actually... I'm on the fence about the whole thing though. I have my doubts and I have my dreams about the whole thing. Who knows what will happen though.

2 weeks of stuff

Time to backtrack since I have 2 weeks worth of updating.

Jude had a weight check-up with the pediatrician on the 10th, he gained over a pound & weighed 9 lbs, 10 oz. He's growing so fast and getting chunky.

Jude had his hearing test & CT Scan the 11th. His hearing test was scheduled for 10:15, the CT for 11:45, the radiologists had requested that I didn't feed him after 9:30. That would have worked fine to get the hearing test that required him to be quiet and still if they didn't have us waiting in the waiting area for so long. He woke up and was pissed as soon as we got back into the room so the lady doing it suggested we go do the CT and come back to do the hearing test while he was sleeping after that. The reason they asked for him to not eat presumably was in case they had to administer anesthesia in order to put him to sleep to stay still for the scan. We ended up back in there and they really didn't want to anesthetize him because it is such a short scan and at this point, he's screaming bloody murder so they ask if he'll take a pacifier, which he normally doesn't. So they started to prepare a pacifier dipped in sugar water to see if he'd take that and relax or sleep. They had me lay him down on the scanner table while they were doing that and he fell asleep as soon as I lay him down. We were all baffled by it. They did the scan and since my mum's a CT scanner at a different DMC hospital she had some sweet connections and we got to see his 3D facial reconstruction and everyone talked about how cute he is. We also got the images on a CD for when we go get a second opinion. We went back upstairs for the hearing test while he was sleeping and since he could eat and he was pretty good through it, he woke up during the first part, but we were able to give him a bottle through it to keep him cooperative. He can hear, which we didn't doubt, the surgeon ordered it just to be sure.

Later that night we took him out on the town to the salon for my mum & I to get our hair cut, then a brewery for dinner, and then an old family friend's art gallery opening. He totally dug it all, he loves to look around at things and is so amazed by new things so none of that was too stressful for him, but he did sleep all weekend after, processing all the new things.

A week passed by and then we met with the plastic surgeon again on the 18th and the information she gave us was a bit overwhelming, but it would have been more overwhelming if we hadn't done our research on craniosynostosis. She told us that the suture is definitely fused and showed us his scan, then she proceeded to tell us how treatment was going to go. It came quickly, my mum almost cried. Basically she said that he won't have surgery until he's 6 months old and she outlined the basics of the procedure. She also gave me scripts to see a neurosurgeon, ophthalmologist, and to have an abdominal ultrasound to check his kidneys because the skin tags can also sometimes be indicative of not fully formed kidneys. He's still getting the tags removed in November though, just to get it out of the way and because it's a relatively minor surgery.

I decided that he looks a bit like a Klingon because of his pointy forehead and the wrinkles. When I say it I mean it in a nice, cute way, not a mean making fun of way but my dad likes to make fun of him.

I tried to get ahold of Chris because of all this so we can get together (his family and mine) and talk about this, child support, him being on the birth certificate, involvement, etc. He kept blowing off my calls/texts and when he did reply about getting together a certain day he ended up changing plans at the last minute with one excuse or another. It's bullshit. I'm pissed that he gave me so much shit about wanting to be involved and around a lot but is now doing this. Before I contacted him last weekend, I hadn't heard from him for over a month. The last time I heard from him was right after my birthday. It wouldn't be that big of a deal if he hadn't given me all the shit about wanting to be around and saying he'd be around no matter what and telling everyone else he was going to. He got defensive, and some of my friends got defensive about him with me and I really didn't appreciate it because no one seemed to understand the situation and what he was really doing. What makes it even worse is that him and his parents came to the hospital the night Jude was born because it really did ruin a lot of moments and happy times for me, again, I wouldn't be so upset about it if he actually was around.

Other than all that nonsense, we're doing great. He's all sorts of adorable still and has started smiling and cooing all the time, he even laughs sometimes. It's really funny because he laughs at my sister a lot, probably because we make fun of her and he's catching on. I was going to take him to JC Penney to get some portraits done this weekend, but I decided to reschedule it for October 8th because he will be 2 months and he'll probably smile more easily at cues, either way, these pictures will be super cute, dammit.

This weekend I'm taking him up north to my grandparents cottage on Lake Huron. It will be an adventure, making that 4 hour drive with him and my sister and just being up there with my aunt and cousins and grandparents. Even though I'm not leaving for another 10 hours or so I should probably start packing, I need to disassemble the pack&play, pack clothes for both of us, figure out how to make diapering work up there (I'm thinking I'll pack all of our cloth diapers, the dirty diaper bag without the dirty diapers from today (I'll put those in a plastic bag in the diaper bin for now), and take some disposables for just in case I go through all of the cloth ones, which I shouldn't, but better safe than sorry, or I can pack the Gerber ones, which I'd rather not especially since that's what he'll be in for the drive back and those won't cut it), all while taking care of him, doing housework, and not forgetting to eat, which reminds me, I need more breakfast than just that yogurt I had when I woke up 2 hours ago. I have a feeling I'm going to need at least 2 duffle bags just for this short trip...

I ordered this yesterday and I can't wait to get it! Both the slings I had gotten were too small for me. :/

Well, that's the past 2 weeks for you, I'll try to update more frequently so I'm not just dumping tons of stuff on here. Here's a happy, smiley baby to make up for it.