I was in the ER until midnight last night.
I saw a cardiologist yesterday afternoon because my heart rate has been rapid for the past few weeks and he sent me to the ER to get an IV of medication to slow my heart rate down. I was alone & didn't want to go to the ER alone so I called my mum and went to my grandma's house to wait for her. I was hungry and my grandma wouldn't let me eat because of fear of what the medication would do to me on a full stomach and my mum was all "they're going to say "let's have a baby"" and freaking me out more than necessary.
As soon as I set foot in the ER everyone swarmed around me and badgered me with questions even though I told them my cardiologist called down there and sent me. "How far are you? Any abdominal or back pain?" I was like "Um, no. My cardiologist called you guys and sent me here and I've had back pain since before I was pregnant." Then they shipped me up to L&D for no real reason where they performed a non-stress test to check on the baby and took me back down to the ER. Then they took an EKG and hooked me up to the monitors and took blood (which I don't know why the cardiologist didn't do in the first place) and did a vasovagal massage. After waiting around in a hospital bed for an hour plus they came back and said my heart was misfiring because my electrolytes, potassium, & magnesium levels were low. So then they gave me 3 huge potassium pills & hooked me up to an IV of magnesium and electrolytes. The magnesium bag was supposed to take an hour but after 55 minutes they realized that they had the other, larger bag dripping into me instead so I had to sit there an extra hour. They sent me home around 11pm with a prescription for magnesium & potassium supplements.
I was angry though because seriously, I could've fixed the problem myself in much less time by giving myself a neck rub & drinking some Gatorade.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Another doctor update and other things.
Everything's measuring perfect still. Jude's still locked & loaded, but still no dilation. I had a final ultrasound to determine his size, he's 6 pounds & 10 ounces already. I may or may not post the pictures, they're kind of boring because he's so big and in the proper position. I just have some of his spine, top of the head, and his giant scrotum, seriously, it's huge, I may scan and post the pictures just because of that, lol. My OB is having me go to a cardiologist because of the rapid heart rate. I hope it's nothing too serious to the point where they have to induce me, that would suck.
I can't believe I'm term! I'm kind of ready to kick him out, but not ready for him to come all at the same time. I think it's just my nerves/anxiety. I just have to constantly remind myself and make others remind me that I can do this and that I'll be excellent at it. Cockiness has kept me positive through this, not going to lie.
I think I have everything ready for him, I just need to finish organizing it and everything. I have all my cloth diapers, newborn diaper covers, snappi's, butt cream, baby bath stuff, clothes, small diaper covers coming in the week, doublers, wipes, disposable diapers for the 1st few days (because of the icky first poops, and because they were given to me by several people), organic laundry detergent, organic fragrance free laundry detergent for the diapers, organic dish soap, all his laundry is done, the bottles & pacifiers (which I may or may not use) are washed, my hospital bag is packed, my diaper bag is packed, the crib is made, and the carseat is in the car.
All that's left that needs to be done is a laundry basket of laundry needs to be put away, all the pictures & decorations need to be hung, and a few more things need to be organized. The die has been cast and my decisions made: no epidural (I hate the thought of a needle in my spinal cord), and no circumcision (it's an unneccesary psychologically & physically harming procedure, plus it's not my penis to make that kind of decision about).
Part of me is wishing Chris would call or message, but part of me is glad he's gone and hopes it stays that way. The part of me that wants to hear from him is brought upon by hearing gossip from Mike about how Tom thinks Chris isn't in the wrong and how Tom yelled at Mike about something regarding the matter. Which I think is stupid of Tom, if he's going to talk to or yell at anyone about that, it should be me, not Mike. Fucking drama. Fucking assholes. I miss my friends until I realize that they are all giant tools.
I can't believe I'm term! I'm kind of ready to kick him out, but not ready for him to come all at the same time. I think it's just my nerves/anxiety. I just have to constantly remind myself and make others remind me that I can do this and that I'll be excellent at it. Cockiness has kept me positive through this, not going to lie.
I think I have everything ready for him, I just need to finish organizing it and everything. I have all my cloth diapers, newborn diaper covers, snappi's, butt cream, baby bath stuff, clothes, small diaper covers coming in the week, doublers, wipes, disposable diapers for the 1st few days (because of the icky first poops, and because they were given to me by several people), organic laundry detergent, organic fragrance free laundry detergent for the diapers, organic dish soap, all his laundry is done, the bottles & pacifiers (which I may or may not use) are washed, my hospital bag is packed, my diaper bag is packed, the crib is made, and the carseat is in the car.
All that's left that needs to be done is a laundry basket of laundry needs to be put away, all the pictures & decorations need to be hung, and a few more things need to be organized. The die has been cast and my decisions made: no epidural (I hate the thought of a needle in my spinal cord), and no circumcision (it's an unneccesary psychologically & physically harming procedure, plus it's not my penis to make that kind of decision about).
Part of me is wishing Chris would call or message, but part of me is glad he's gone and hopes it stays that way. The part of me that wants to hear from him is brought upon by hearing gossip from Mike about how Tom thinks Chris isn't in the wrong and how Tom yelled at Mike about something regarding the matter. Which I think is stupid of Tom, if he's going to talk to or yell at anyone about that, it should be me, not Mike. Fucking drama. Fucking assholes. I miss my friends until I realize that they are all giant tools.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
My last doctor's appointment.
It was last week. I've been failing at updating, sorry, I've been busy trying not to stress out and get everything done before Jude gets here. I've been nesting like a crazy woman for the past week or two, and no matter what I always find more that needs to be done, it feels never ending.
Anyway, on to the point. Last weeks doctor appointment. I'm going to Tarantino this a bit, just a warning. Will went with me. I wasn't dilated yet, but Jude is head down and pretty much locked & loaded ready to go. Everything's measuring peachy like always. I did get my results from the group b strep test though. I'm one of the 20% that has it and get to be hooked up to an IV of antibiotics when I'm in labor. woohoo. :|
I mentioned that he had been moving a bit less/slower the day or two before that which I had associated to me being more active from shopping and cleaning like crazy and/or him running out of room. My doctor seemed concerned and had me go to the hospital for a non-stress test. So my anxiety kicked in a little on the way to the hospital, which is out near my grandma's house about 30-45 minutes away from home (quite a drive), and I was glad to have Will with me to keep me from having a full-blown panic attack about it.
We get to the hospital. They check me in and hook me up to the monitors immediately and then they take my vitals. My pulse was outrageously high and they kept checking and re-checking it. It was up in the 140-150's on average. They were puzzled by it. I was trying to stay calm. They said I could be dehydrated, and I told them that's impossible because I drank like 3-4 bottles of water before I went there and I drink like 10 a day. So they got me a giant cup of ice water & kept checking my pulse intermittenly. One nurse said she got a normal reading, another said she got a high reading. I was eventually let go. They told me to bring it to my doctor's attention at my next appointment, which is tomorrow. I've been randomly checking my pulse for the past week just to see if it's still high or not, and it's been up in the 130-140 area sometimes. It's strange, I've never had any problems like this, and my blood pressure is always textbook perfect. I'm hoping it's not too big of a deal and that it won't cause any harm to Jude or cause me to be induced super-early. His heartbeat is good and was good when I was being monitored at the hosptial.
I also had a few small contractions when I was hooked up to the monitor at the hospital, no major ones though, but you could see them on the monitor.
Then I came home. . .
I had called my dad to tell him I was going when I left my doctor's and he asked if he should call my mum or grandma or meet me at the hospital or anything and I told him not to bother because it was just a little test, nothing serious and that Will was with me. He got all pissy at me on the phone about how he shouldn't have been with me and crap and that made my anxiety about the whole thing a bit worse. I called my mum when I left the hospital, and she was overly concerned and "why didn't you call me, I would've left work to take care of you" and I told her it wasn't a big deal and that I didn't need taking care of. Then I was driving home and got a text from my dad after I got off the phone with my mum asking "what's going on?" and I got all snappy and then realized he had sent it 2 hours prior. Then, as he usually does, he sent me a text when I was literally 2 miles away from home asking if I was coming home and I got snappy again because I had just told my mother I was on my way home when I talked to her and it's not like it's a short drive from the hospital.
I get home. I tell my mum what had happened at my appointment and the hospital and my dad only half-listened so I had to re-cap it all for him right after explaining all of it. The worst part that made me angry at first was when I told them about the GBS stuff because they both asked "Who'd you get that from?" I had to explain twice in the span of 5 minutes that it's not an STD and that it was just a bacterial infection a certain amount of people have. After I re-explained it to my father he asked again who I got it from and I got angry.
Then he started badgering me about my relationship with Will because he doesn't approve and he was being an ass about it even though I had just had a stressful day and was worried already about everything else. I got angry and slammed my laptop shut and threw it down and tried to leave, but my mum wouldn't let me. Then she verbally bitch slapped him for being out of line while I cried in my room. Her and I went to Target after that because I had a gift card from my shower and needed a few random baby things. We got home and my dad was still sulky and asshole-like so I grabbed my computer and sat at the table instead of the couch because that's where he was and my mum sat out in the backyard. He went out there and started throwing a tantrum to my mum about Will & I and she told him straight up that he was behaving innapropriately and throwing a temper tantrum and he claimed he wasn't. Then he came inside and started asking me the same questions he had asked me 50 times before and that I had answered already and I told him I didn't feel the need to answer because I had answered 50 times before and because he was throwing a tantrum.
He continued acting like a child and continued being pissy and started making sarcastic asshole comments. I was getting frustrated with him and I was getting angry and he called me out on it after I called him out on his tantrum throwing but I explained to him why I was angry and he was still being pissy and in my face about it. Then him and my mum left to get my sister, which gave me some time to cool down, but not really.
What bothers me the most is the fact that he did that after I had a shitty day and knew it and knew I was already stressed out. I was talking to Zak about it on Thursday or Friday and we both came to the conclusion that it's amazing that I haven't miscarried because of all the stress I've been under during this pregnancy.
Only 23 more days until my due date. It's mind-boggling that I've made it this far.
I get another ultrasound tomorrow. I'll try not to fail at updating with that. I'm already upset about tomorrow, but I'll post about it after tomorrow, I've been rambling/ranting too long already.
Anyway, on to the point. Last weeks doctor appointment. I'm going to Tarantino this a bit, just a warning. Will went with me. I wasn't dilated yet, but Jude is head down and pretty much locked & loaded ready to go. Everything's measuring peachy like always. I did get my results from the group b strep test though. I'm one of the 20% that has it and get to be hooked up to an IV of antibiotics when I'm in labor. woohoo. :|
I mentioned that he had been moving a bit less/slower the day or two before that which I had associated to me being more active from shopping and cleaning like crazy and/or him running out of room. My doctor seemed concerned and had me go to the hospital for a non-stress test. So my anxiety kicked in a little on the way to the hospital, which is out near my grandma's house about 30-45 minutes away from home (quite a drive), and I was glad to have Will with me to keep me from having a full-blown panic attack about it.
We get to the hospital. They check me in and hook me up to the monitors immediately and then they take my vitals. My pulse was outrageously high and they kept checking and re-checking it. It was up in the 140-150's on average. They were puzzled by it. I was trying to stay calm. They said I could be dehydrated, and I told them that's impossible because I drank like 3-4 bottles of water before I went there and I drink like 10 a day. So they got me a giant cup of ice water & kept checking my pulse intermittenly. One nurse said she got a normal reading, another said she got a high reading. I was eventually let go. They told me to bring it to my doctor's attention at my next appointment, which is tomorrow. I've been randomly checking my pulse for the past week just to see if it's still high or not, and it's been up in the 130-140 area sometimes. It's strange, I've never had any problems like this, and my blood pressure is always textbook perfect. I'm hoping it's not too big of a deal and that it won't cause any harm to Jude or cause me to be induced super-early. His heartbeat is good and was good when I was being monitored at the hosptial.
I also had a few small contractions when I was hooked up to the monitor at the hospital, no major ones though, but you could see them on the monitor.
Then I came home. . .
I had called my dad to tell him I was going when I left my doctor's and he asked if he should call my mum or grandma or meet me at the hospital or anything and I told him not to bother because it was just a little test, nothing serious and that Will was with me. He got all pissy at me on the phone about how he shouldn't have been with me and crap and that made my anxiety about the whole thing a bit worse. I called my mum when I left the hospital, and she was overly concerned and "why didn't you call me, I would've left work to take care of you" and I told her it wasn't a big deal and that I didn't need taking care of. Then I was driving home and got a text from my dad after I got off the phone with my mum asking "what's going on?" and I got all snappy and then realized he had sent it 2 hours prior. Then, as he usually does, he sent me a text when I was literally 2 miles away from home asking if I was coming home and I got snappy again because I had just told my mother I was on my way home when I talked to her and it's not like it's a short drive from the hospital.
I get home. I tell my mum what had happened at my appointment and the hospital and my dad only half-listened so I had to re-cap it all for him right after explaining all of it. The worst part that made me angry at first was when I told them about the GBS stuff because they both asked "Who'd you get that from?" I had to explain twice in the span of 5 minutes that it's not an STD and that it was just a bacterial infection a certain amount of people have. After I re-explained it to my father he asked again who I got it from and I got angry.
Then he started badgering me about my relationship with Will because he doesn't approve and he was being an ass about it even though I had just had a stressful day and was worried already about everything else. I got angry and slammed my laptop shut and threw it down and tried to leave, but my mum wouldn't let me. Then she verbally bitch slapped him for being out of line while I cried in my room. Her and I went to Target after that because I had a gift card from my shower and needed a few random baby things. We got home and my dad was still sulky and asshole-like so I grabbed my computer and sat at the table instead of the couch because that's where he was and my mum sat out in the backyard. He went out there and started throwing a tantrum to my mum about Will & I and she told him straight up that he was behaving innapropriately and throwing a temper tantrum and he claimed he wasn't. Then he came inside and started asking me the same questions he had asked me 50 times before and that I had answered already and I told him I didn't feel the need to answer because I had answered 50 times before and because he was throwing a tantrum.
He continued acting like a child and continued being pissy and started making sarcastic asshole comments. I was getting frustrated with him and I was getting angry and he called me out on it after I called him out on his tantrum throwing but I explained to him why I was angry and he was still being pissy and in my face about it. Then him and my mum left to get my sister, which gave me some time to cool down, but not really.
What bothers me the most is the fact that he did that after I had a shitty day and knew it and knew I was already stressed out. I was talking to Zak about it on Thursday or Friday and we both came to the conclusion that it's amazing that I haven't miscarried because of all the stress I've been under during this pregnancy.
Only 23 more days until my due date. It's mind-boggling that I've made it this far.
I get another ultrasound tomorrow. I'll try not to fail at updating with that. I'm already upset about tomorrow, but I'll post about it after tomorrow, I've been rambling/ranting too long already.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
My Baby Shower
Today was my baby shower. It was pretty nice. I have so much stuff to sort through, put away, return, and figure out what I still need that I didn't get though. It's pretty overwhelming, not going to lie. There's just so much. I look at the pile in my room and freak out because I don't know where to start. It will get done I'm sure, and I know my mum will help me out with it, it's just so much, ha.
There are pictures on my mum's camera from the day, I'll post those separately when they're uploaded. Especially the one's of the favors I made and the cake that my dad's coworker made.
It was held at Gala, a small restaurant in downtown Farmington. There were tons of relatives, friends, and family friends there, it was a good crowd.
I wasn't in the highest of spirits or energy throughout the day though, I got maybe 5 hours of sleep and have been zoning out thinking about other unimportant things that I need off of my mind. It's a quarter to one and it's shocking that I'm awake enough to type this. At least I won't need to adjust to little sleep and a bad sleep schedule when Jude gets here, I'm already used to it.
I'm starting to get anxious about the baby being here. It feels like everyone else around me is much more excited for his arrival than I am. It makes me sad and feel awful, but I'm trying, I've been trying since December to get excited. Part of it's my pessimistic attitude towards everything, part of it's my apathy towards everything, part of it's the situation I'm in. I'll probably be thrilled and happy as balls once he's here, but until then I don't expect much excitement coming from me. I know it's going to be hard, and I think that's where my anxiety is coming from, because I'm also realizing that it's so close to happening. I'll be term in 2 weeks. He's due in 5. I feel like there's so much I still need to do to prepare for him, both mentally and with getting all of his stuff together. Mentally preparing myself has been and will probably continue being the hardest part. Like I know this is the most important thing going on in my life right now but I still manage to shove it to the back of my head and think about other frivolous things.
Part of me is still angry about Chris and all that has happened. I fear the impact it will have on Jude. I fear it'll make him hate me and that somehow it's all my fault, even though I know it's not. It's not my fault Chris is immature and irresponsible. Sure, I dumped him, because of those reasons and his stubbornness and the fact that he was unwilling to meet me halfway and make adjustments, but that doesn't mean he has to be a bitter prick about it and do this to Jude. I know I don't have to worry about it for a few years, but I sometimes ponder what will I tell Jude about Chris and why he was not a part of his life. I don't want to lie, but at the same time I don't want to be so bitter about it, which I doubt is possible.
I'll figure this all out. Everything will fall into place. Everything does happen for a reason, right? Do we ever know what that reason is, is it learned over time, or is it always ambiguous?
There are pictures on my mum's camera from the day, I'll post those separately when they're uploaded. Especially the one's of the favors I made and the cake that my dad's coworker made.
It was held at Gala, a small restaurant in downtown Farmington. There were tons of relatives, friends, and family friends there, it was a good crowd.
I wasn't in the highest of spirits or energy throughout the day though, I got maybe 5 hours of sleep and have been zoning out thinking about other unimportant things that I need off of my mind. It's a quarter to one and it's shocking that I'm awake enough to type this. At least I won't need to adjust to little sleep and a bad sleep schedule when Jude gets here, I'm already used to it.
I'm starting to get anxious about the baby being here. It feels like everyone else around me is much more excited for his arrival than I am. It makes me sad and feel awful, but I'm trying, I've been trying since December to get excited. Part of it's my pessimistic attitude towards everything, part of it's my apathy towards everything, part of it's the situation I'm in. I'll probably be thrilled and happy as balls once he's here, but until then I don't expect much excitement coming from me. I know it's going to be hard, and I think that's where my anxiety is coming from, because I'm also realizing that it's so close to happening. I'll be term in 2 weeks. He's due in 5. I feel like there's so much I still need to do to prepare for him, both mentally and with getting all of his stuff together. Mentally preparing myself has been and will probably continue being the hardest part. Like I know this is the most important thing going on in my life right now but I still manage to shove it to the back of my head and think about other frivolous things.
Part of me is still angry about Chris and all that has happened. I fear the impact it will have on Jude. I fear it'll make him hate me and that somehow it's all my fault, even though I know it's not. It's not my fault Chris is immature and irresponsible. Sure, I dumped him, because of those reasons and his stubbornness and the fact that he was unwilling to meet me halfway and make adjustments, but that doesn't mean he has to be a bitter prick about it and do this to Jude. I know I don't have to worry about it for a few years, but I sometimes ponder what will I tell Jude about Chris and why he was not a part of his life. I don't want to lie, but at the same time I don't want to be so bitter about it, which I doubt is possible.
I'll figure this all out. Everything will fall into place. Everything does happen for a reason, right? Do we ever know what that reason is, is it learned over time, or is it always ambiguous?
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Obligatory Introductory Post.
Why hello. I'm Kayleigh, 20 years old, and 34 weeks pregnant with a baby boy. His name will be Jude Thomas and he's due August 14th, which is 3 days before my 21st birthday. His favorite musical artist is David Bowie and he likes to Crank That Soulja Boy. He will be sharing a bedroom with me until I can afford to move us out of my parents house. I am currently unemployed, but have recently become a certified pharmacy technician so after I have him, I will be looking for a job in that field.
The person who assisted in creating this lively boy inside of me is no longer in my life which makes this whole thing unideal and depressing for me but I tough it out.
I have an amazing family supporting me and helping me through this.
I'm seeing someone but things on that front are also hectic, and best left to my other blogs.
If you want to know about anything really, don't hesitate to ask, I'm very honest and open and will answer any questions or talk about whatever. I'm here to blog only about Jude growing up and I guess the rest of my pregnancy.
I've had a pretty easy pregnancy, honestly. I didn't get many of the nasty side effects most people complain about. I am huge and do have some crazy nasty stretch marks though.
This weekend coming up is my baby shower. I'm pretty excited about it. My mum is throwing it but I made the invitations and favors by hand all by myself because I'm a fairly crafty person. The favors aren't finished yet, but when they are, I'll be sure to post them and possibly a tutorial.
Here are the invitations I hand made. They were quite simple. The hardest part was making the monkeys because I had to cut all the pieces out of different colored cardstock and glue them all together.
The person who assisted in creating this lively boy inside of me is no longer in my life which makes this whole thing unideal and depressing for me but I tough it out.
I have an amazing family supporting me and helping me through this.
I'm seeing someone but things on that front are also hectic, and best left to my other blogs.
If you want to know about anything really, don't hesitate to ask, I'm very honest and open and will answer any questions or talk about whatever. I'm here to blog only about Jude growing up and I guess the rest of my pregnancy.
I've had a pretty easy pregnancy, honestly. I didn't get many of the nasty side effects most people complain about. I am huge and do have some crazy nasty stretch marks though.
This weekend coming up is my baby shower. I'm pretty excited about it. My mum is throwing it but I made the invitations and favors by hand all by myself because I'm a fairly crafty person. The favors aren't finished yet, but when they are, I'll be sure to post them and possibly a tutorial.
Here are the invitations I hand made. They were quite simple. The hardest part was making the monkeys because I had to cut all the pieces out of different colored cardstock and glue them all together.
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